#19 Unpacking

In 2004 before I moved to the other side of the world to do a Master's degree I packed up my apartment and delivered the boxes to my parents' basement where they have remained ever since. I have not unpacked those boxes in five years. For a few years I could remember their contents, and could even direct my mum to a specific box if there was something I wanted her to mail me.

However, that recollection has now since passed. I can't for the life of me remember what is in all those darn boxes in the basement, and after having lived without the stuff for so many years I have a hard time believing that I actually need it all. My tastes have also changed (from Nordic influence) and I highly doubt that many of the accessories I once had in my old apartment appeal to me any longer.

In September I started taking an art class and decided one weekend that I wanted to find some of my old art supplies, so into the boxes I started digging. Wow did I have a lot of crap in those boxes! My notes from university classes, training manuals from my first year as a Residence Assistant in 1999, a stack of 3" disks with now-lost-forever essays and who knows what else, trinkets from when I was a teenager which are fun to look at but remain completely useless, out-of-date clothes, dried-out glue sticks...the list goes on.

Why did I think all these things were important enough to keep? *cough* I may be somewhat of a pack-rat. I blame my great aunt Mabel.

If I hadn't packed it all away I think I might have kept some of it forever. But on Sunday I went through 5 of the boxes and have now recycled, garbaged, or set-aside for the second-hand store 2 boxes worth of things. I feel lighter already, and relieved that I won't have to move it, only to then throw it out later.

...now all that remains are the boxes I haven't ever opened since my parents moved ten years ago from the house I grew up in. They boxed up my childhood room, and those boxes now sit in the basement too. My mum kept school work that both my sister and I did all-the-way back to kindergarden. When she and Dad moved she decided that it had become our responsibility to keep that memorabilia and boxed for us. I have never opened those boxes, and dread the day I have to decide whether to keep the turkey I made out of my hand-print in grade 2, or the 1988 Olympics project I did in grade 3.

Oh dear.

#18 - Decisions of abundance

I have some decisions to make, and they have been weighing heavily on me. Decisions about my career, where to live, what I want in life.

Last night I met with some wonderful friends for dinner, and presented my dilemmas to them over curry, beer, and raspberry-custard pie. Each provided some great insight, and shared some of their own experiences both in decision-making, and in decisions made.

Then towards the end of the evening, the conversation came back around to my decision-making and two great pieces of advice have stuck with me more than any of the other discussions in the hours preceeding. First, although it is important to actively make decisions about the direction I want to take, there will probably be something that will happen in the next few days that will make my choice clearer - and I shouldn't let the decision-making process bog me down so much or I might miss some other opportunities that might not be as easy to identify. Also, it's only in retrospect that decisions can be regretted anyway, in the moment I can only use the information I have at my disposal to make the best decisions possible.

The second thing that was said that I have been thinking about since, was that my decisions are all decisions of abundance. At no point will I be facing hunger, or homelessness, or the possibility of no further opportunities. So now I am trying to enjoy the opportunity I have to make life-decisions.

I do believe that I have a clearer vision of my choices and which one I will make than I did before I went for dinner yesterday. To those of you who were at dinner last night, whom I believe read this blog - thank you for listening and sharing your wisdom.

#16 Push-off

One of my favourite parts of my day is when I'm in the pool each morning.

Gliding through the water, and feeling the resistance against my strokes.

Reach the end, turn and plant my feet firmly on the wall and push of - I feel like I'm flying.

#15 Stardust

We are composed of the basic elements.

A few of the basic elements found on earth were created with the Big bang (ex. hydrogyn, helium) whereas all the rest of the elements found on earth come from exploded stars.

That means that we are all stardust.

Image from http://photojournal.jpl.nasa.gov/catalog/PIA12252

#14 - Thankful for where I live in the world!

I received this via email from a friend recently, please consider sending a letter in protest.

Send a pre-written letter:
http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/1870/t/9644/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=1484


http://www.iglhrc.org/cgi-bin/iowa/region/60.html

UGANDA
The Ugandan Parliament is now considering a homophobic law that would reaffirm penalties for homosexuality and criminalize the "promotion of homosexuality." The Anti-Homosexuality Bill of 2009 targets lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) Ugandans, their defenders and anyone else who fails to report them to the authorities whether they are inside or outside of Uganda. The International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC) and Sexual Minorities of Uganda (SMUG) are calling for the swift dismissal of the bill and human rights protections for all Ugandans, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Background

Uganda's Penal Code Article 145a already criminalizes "carnal knowledge of any person against the order of nature" - a charge used to prosecute, persecute and blackmail LGBT people with the threat of life imprisonment. The new bill would specifically penalize homosexuality, using life imprisonment to punish anything from sexual stimulation to simply "touch[ing] another person with the intention of committing the act of homosexuality." It also punishes "aggravated homosexuality" - including activity by "serial offenders" or those who are HIV positive - with the death penalty.

The bill criminalizes "promotion of homosexuality" in the form of funding and sponsoring LGBT organizations and broadcasting, publishing, or marketing materials on homosexuality and punishes these acts with a steep fine, 5-7 years of imprisonment, or both. Any person in authority who fails to report known violations of the law within 24 hours will also be subject to a significant fine and up to 3 years in prison - even when this means turning in their colleagues, family, or friends. More shocking, the bill claims jurisdiction over Ugandans who violate its provisions while outside of the country.

The bill effectively bans any kind of community or political organizing around non-heteronormative sexuality. It will lend itself to misapplication and abuse, and implicitly encourages persecution of LGBT people by private actors. HIV prevention activities in Uganda, which rely on an ability to talk frankly about sexuality and provide condoms and other safer-sex materials, will be seriously compromised. Women, sex workers, people living with AIDS, and other marginalized groups may also find their activities tracked and criminalized through this bill.

The Anti-Homosexuality Bill of 2009 not only violates multiple protections guaranteed by the Constitution of Uganda, which ensures independence for human rights non-governmental organizations, but contravenes the African Charter on Human and People's Rights, the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR), and other international human rights treaties to which Uganda is a party. This bill undermines Uganda's commitment to the international human rights regime and threatens the basic human rights of all its citizens.

Join the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC) and Sexual Minorities of Uganda (SMUG) in calling for the swift dismissal of the Anti-Homosexuality Bill of 2009 and the protection of all Ugandans, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Send a pre-written letter:
http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/1870/t/9644/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=1484

#13 Archbishop Desmond Tutu - an inspiration

Yesterday I mentioned getting to hear Desmond Tutu speak last year. First of all, I realized it was two years ago, second, I decided to dig-up an email I'd sent to my friends about the experience and to post it here:

Otherwise, I'm reconnecting with old friends and things are going well. Which brings me to the experience I had today which prompted me to write in the first place. One of my friends, Gro, had an extra ticket to a lecture at the Nobel Peace Institute today and invited me.

I got to attend a lecture by Archbishop Desmond Tutu!! Yes! THE Desmond Tutu, Nobel Laureate from 1984 for his work against apartheid in South Africa, peace activist, famous African, former head of South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission, and generally phenomenal man. (For those of you at U of Guelph - Stephen Lewis' lecture last month paled in comparison. :))

Archbishop Tutu is in Oslo to open a new exhibit called Hands that Shape Humanity (http://www.handsthatshapehumanity.org/) and was at the Nobel Peace Institute today to give a lecture about the current state of Africa.

To start with, Gro and I were keeners and sat right down in the second row, right behind the one that was reserved for dignitaries. So when Desmond Tutu entered the room, he ended up sitting in the chair right in front of me. We were so close that I could see every wrinkle on the bald part of his head! He has a presence unlike I've ever experienced. He's much smaller than I thought, probably only up to my shoulder, if that. But when he entered the room there came this glowing energy which made me want to hug not just him, but also the stranger sitting beside me. Just looking at him I couldn't help but smile. The only way I can think to describe it was as an invigorating peaceful presence -it seems like an oxymoron, I know.

Before getting into his lecture he spoke about the difference getting a Nobel Peace Prize made to his life. He chuckled that it was strange because after getting the prize he continued to say things that he'd said before becoming a Nobel Laureate, but that suddenly after being awarded the prize, people suddenly started to listen to those same opinions as though they came from an oracle. He told about what a powerful experience it was, coming directly from Apartheid South
Africa to Norway and going out for dinner in Oslo with his wife, and walking into a restaurant only to have people notice him and give him a standing ovation.

He also talked about his friendship with the Dalai Lama. Of the Dalai Lama Tutu expressed amazement that the man still has such a child-like presence and energy despite having been exiled from Tibet for 40 years. It was noted that they both were in Norway on the 100th anniversary of the Nobel Peace Prize, and that the two of them attended the conference but sat in a back corner together causing a ruckus. He jokingly told that quite often he's had to turn to the Dalai Lama when they are together and shush him, saying "Shhh, try to behave! The cameras are on us. Try to behave like a holy man!" What an image! :)

His lecture started with a depressing overview of the overwhelming violence, TB, malaria, corruption, and HIV/AIDS in Africa, and touched individually on the current troubling situations in nearly every African country. He talked about African leaders and how worrisome it is that so many in positions of power leave a lot to be desired. He mirrored the current corruption to his experiences fighting Apartheid. He said that during the Apartheid struggle people were idealistic, positive and altruistic - and not in the fight for personal gain...but then he qualified his statement by admitting that maybe they were naive since "we are human and succumb to temptations". He talked about the amazing fact that people have been so patient for so long since the end of apartheid, and that they're waiting for the gap between rich and poor to decrease but it hasn't, and instead people have seen others become millionaires, and still they wait with hope. He said that during Apartheid "we though we were struggling to produce a compassionate, caring society where people even in their poverty knew they counted. We haven't gotten quite there." Such open honesty about his own country and the current situation - how difficult it must be to see after a lifetime of fighting.

When Archbishop Tutu began his lecture he started by reminding us of the historical context of things. He pointed-out things that have happened in the west in recent memory: 2 huge wars with Europe as the theatre, political philosophies that caused the deaths of 6 million people, and civil wars across Europe. As recently as the Industrial Revolution people in Europe lived in poverty and child slavery was rampant. A democratic western country was the first to use weapons of mass destruction in Hiroshima, Europe had the first example of ethnic cleansing, and religious hatred continues within Christianity in Ireland. With this in mind, he asked us to think of Africa and it's problems and to see that the west isn't so far from their reality and to remember that it took hundreds of years to achieve the development we currently enjoy. He said "it is human to be noble, but also to be vicious. It's not just African to be corrupt."

He concluded by passionately stating that there is hope for Africa, and that a continent that currently "provides" 50% of the world's refugees once offered refuge to people in danger. He finished by saying that he wants everybody to gather together to yell "Wake up glorious Africa! Look at your glorious past and rise from the ashes like a phoenix!"

The lecture finished with two questions. One was about China's increasing presence on the African continent. Tutu said that he himself is concerned because China could have either a benevolent or a malevolent presence. He worries that China could be a new coloniser
and develop into a new imperialist in Africa. He went on to talk about the role China could take in the world to use it's power for good, for instance in Tibet and Burma. But he worries about China's role in Africa because China has yet to show it's benevolence in those situations.

I was so impressed by Archbishop Tutu, he really made me feel hopeful that despite our human flaws we can bring positive change to the world.

"An enemy is a friend waiting to be made...People are fundamentally good. We are made for love, for generosity, sharing, and compassion, for transcendence. We are made to reach for the stars." - Archbishop Desmond Tutu

I thought you might enjoy hearing about it.

The picture attached is a Desmond Tutu doll. It hangs in the common-area of my friend's apartment...notice the mirror ball reflecting on him. :)

#12 Obama - Nobel Laureate "for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples"

Since Obama got the Nobel I've been thinking about whether I think it's a legitimate choice. Since living in Norway and getting the chance to go to the Nobel awards ceremony in 2005 when Wangari Maathai won for her environmental work in Africa, and getting to hear Desmond Tutu speak at the Nobel Centre last year, I've followed the prizes more closely that I might have otherwise. My friend Rich wrote about Obama winning on his blog and I and wrote response that dripped in cynicism. Obviously, I've been rather critical about Obama-as-Nobel-Laureate, but then I heard a clip on CBC, and had a brief conversation with a friend that has swayed my opinion.

My cynicism has been tied up in the idea there were a lot of politics tied up in the prize this year, which I don't like. The chair of the Nobel committee Thorbjørn Jagland was recently appointed General Secretary of the Council of Europe, and I wondered whether he wanted to have the chance to meet with Obama and have his ear for 24 hours while in Oslo. Also, Norwegians, being of tiny country and having a big crush on Obama, I couldn't help but wonder if Obama was given the prize just so that they could meet him. It's the only way they'd probably manage a state visit before the end of Obama's Presidency.

The two new pieces of information that have mellowed my view are the following:

1. I was reminded that the Nobel committee puts the most emphasis on what has happened in the past year.

2. I was swayed by the following letter to the editor read on "The Sunday Edition" on Sunday morning.

I think you missed the real point behind the choice of Obama winning the Peace Prize. You mentioned, almost off-hand, that he isn't Bush. But surely that is the point. What did Obama do to promote peace? He defeated the neo-con cadre in Washington who had scant regard for the UN talk-based approach to international diplomacy.

Is the world more peaceful today? Not in terms of wars waged, but surely we have a far better chance of finding world peace with this President.

So he wins not for what he might do, but for what he did to defeat an entire ideology which was pushing the word's most powerful nation towards militarisation and its own brand of terrorism. For that alone he richly deserves the prize.

I supplement it with this statement by Jageland in Aftenposten:

– Nobelkomiteen bør være slik Alfred Nobel har bestemt. Uavhengig, med stor integritet, og med evne til å fange det som skjer i verden. Det er også viktig at vi kan ta kontroversielle beslutninger når det er nødvendig, sier han til NTB.

Under sitt foredrag ved Nobels Fredssenter på Vestbanen i Oslo, forsvarte Jagland komiteen, og tildelingen av Nobels fredspris til USAs president Barack Obama.

– Husker dere hvordan verden var for et år siden? Det var konfrontasjoner på alle kanter. Situasjonen var veldig farlig. Obama har redusert temperaturen i verden, sa Jagland til en fullsatt sal.

----------

"The Nobel committee should be as Alfred Nobel decided it to be. Independent, and with great integrity, and with the ability to capture that which is happening in the world. It is also important that we can make controversial decisions when it is important," he says to NTB.

During his presentation at the Nobel Peace Centre on the west side of Oslo, Jagland defended the committee, and the awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to the USA's President Barack Obama.

"Do you remember how the world was a year ago? There was confrontation on all sides. The situation was very dangerous. Obama has reduced the temperature in the world" said Jagland to a packed room.

I stand with a humbly mellowed perspective.

#11 - Letter to the editor

My letter to the editor from #7 was published in Maclean's this week.

I was in bed reading last night when there was a knock at my door and mum came in, and proceeded to push the magazine in front of my face. It took a second for my eyes to focus on what she was showing me, but there it was! A slightly shortened, but definitely in print letter to the editor published in a national news magazine.

*grin*

#10 - Good Neighbours

My parents just got back after having been away for a month and I looked after the house. They had told their neighbours John and Alice that I would be here alone.

Before Mum and Dad left the hot water heater started to leak, and Dad had said that if there were any more problems with it while they were away I could ask John to take a look at it. One night, sure enough, I checked and it was leaking again. I knew that I would have to call the company to come and fix it, but figured there was no harm in asking John to come and take a look. So over he came later that evening to take a look at it and give me some fatherly advice.

A few nights later Alice called and invited me over for dinner, but I had already eaten. So she showed on my doorstep up an hour later with two meals-worth of lasagne.

Then, this past weekend I was raking the leaves, cutting the grass, and cleaning the house in preparation for my parents' return. First, John came over with a yard waste bag and gave me a hand filling it, then he came over to look at the lawnmower when he'd seen that I had stalled it (it has rained so much in the past month that I had not managed to cut the grass in four weeks and it was long).

Maybe it's because I grew up in a farming community where people look out for each other, but I really appreciate neighbours who are willing to watch out for each other, and who aren't afriad to ask for/offer help. It dawned on me that some might find it invasive to have neighbours keeping track of you, but for me it feels reassuring. My grandparents and great aunt and uncle have lived next-door to each other for 60 years, and in my family we always helped each other if needed. Living so close to each other, and with my dad and uncles working together on the farm every day there were definitely some clearly-drawn boundaries, but there was always the standing offer of help and all you had to do was ask.

When my parents were away, I found it reassuring to know that my neighbours knew that I was in the house alone and were keeping an eye out.

#9 - The detail of others' lives

My friend Ang married her husband Kon for the 2nd and 3rd time this weekend. She's Canadian, he's American (Greek-American to be precise). They got married the first time a few months ago with a justice of the peace, they got married Saturday at noon in the Greek Orthodox church, and they got married Saturday at 6pm in a ceremony for family and friends.

Talk about committment! Third time's a charm.

I've known Ang since kindergarden, but we didn't become friends until grade 9 when we were in enrichment together (nerds!). Ang's mum passed away when we were in highschool. The night she died Ang was the one who was keeping her company, and as she kept her mum company Ang wrote her mum a poem. The poem was eventually read at the funeral, and I had the honour of hearing it again this weekend at the wedding during her Dad's speech.

The poem starts through her mum's eyes. She speaks about how difficult it is to know she will be leaving her daughter and sons behind, talks about love, and says that maybe there is a purpose to be found in her illness; that they will be stronger, more loving, and more caring people having gone through such great loss. The end of the poem is told through Ang's eyes telling her mum what she will miss the most, and saying that she hopes that she will gain strength from having gone through the loss. At the end of the poem she gives her mum permission to leave.

Hearing the poem at the wedding was so different from hearing it at the funeral 12 years ago. This time was an occasion of celebration, not sorrow, and most people at the wedding never had the opportunity to know Ang's mum. Ang's dad's decision to share the poem allowed a number of things to happen: It acknowledged Jean's absence. It allowed us to see, and learn from, a family's grief. And most importantly, it allowed everyone present, all of whom are important to Ang and Kon, to know and understand them better.

Sharing the poem Ang wrote to her mum invited people to clearly see the detail of another person's life. Sharing like that is rare, but precious, and it was an honour to be part of it this weekend.

Number 8 - CBC Blows My Mind!

In the past couple of days I have heard the following on CBC Radio 1:

1. The scientists responsible for the discovery of Ardi, the earliest hominid fossil yet discovered (4.5 million years old) were interviewed on Quirks and Quarks. Their findings have just been published in Science. The part that blew my mind was the following:

...the last two papers trace early human evolution and synthesize a new view of our last common ancestor with chimps. One conclusion is that chimps have specialized greatly since then and thus are poor models for that ancestor and for understanding human innovations such as our ability to walk.

Do you realize what that just said? It said that humans didn't descend from chimps,and that chimps descended from humans! How cool is that! According to the article our last common ancestor was more hominid than ape. The examples they cite were interesting, for example that chimps have developed large canines that are not evident in early hominids (canines = male fighting = lack of canines means human social behaviour which is the basis for civilisation) and that along the evolutionary path the chimp hips and lower back became more specialized for tree climbing. There is no doubt that both hominids and apes have evolved significantly, but the common ancestor was basically hominid. So much for the Darwin charicatures.

2. I heard a marvellous interview with Richard Dawkins on Tapestry on Sunday. Mary Hynes interviewed him in a pub about evolution, and they discussed his new book The Greatest Show on Earth. He blew my mind with his eloquence and the facts he used to illustrate his points (synthesis, not direct quotes):

As a scientist I see flowers as much more beautiful than you becasue I not only see the flower, but also understand the complexity in their history.

And then he talked about the argument against grand design:

In the world where we're used to everything around us being designed (microphones, vehicles, computers), so it's automatic for people to be familiar with the idea of complicated things that do something useful being designed and easy to be duped by that illusion. It's hard for people to grasp that you can get the appearance of design without any direction, that comes about by a totally different process.

Then they discussed how problematic the word random is because it leads to arguments such as:"The chance of life arising from pure random chance is tantamount to a hurricane blowign through a junkjard and making a boeing 747". In retort:

Darwinian natural selection is not about random chance, it's the exact opposite. The mutation process is random, and most does not lead to improvement. Natural selection is guiding gene pools through time in directions of improvement. With randomness chances are things will get worse, like if you randomly cut a wire in a radio, chances are it will work worse instead of better. But once in a while there will be an improvement, and those rare improvements survive.

Then on to the cop-out that is a belief in a true creator:

A true creator is not much of a story becaues it's too easy, it's a cop-out. Whereas the Darwinian explanation achieves an explanation where there wasn't one before. It takes simplicity and builds it up into complexity. It's a satisfying explanation.

And finally in response to the Woody Allen quote "If there were a designer, he was an underachiever." they discuss the Giraffe Example:

There is a nerve in all mammals that starts in the brain and ends at the voice box. But it doesn't go straight to its end organ, it goes straight past and down to the chest before looping back up again. In the giraffe this means that the nerve is 15 feet long! A real designer would have jumped that across. But it doesn't because it bears the stamp of history from a fishy ancestor. Where once the most direct route was through the chest, mammal necks have grown and it's no longer a direct route.

And that was just in the first 15 minutes! The interview continued on from there, but for those first fifteen minutes I was listening with rapt attention to his eloquence.

3. Next on my list is the Vinyl Cafe story this week by Stuart McLean called "Planet Boy". It was a repeat, but the first time I'd heard it:

After driving Sam and his friend Murphy to their first school dance, Dave opens his front door to meet Sam's date. Dave returns to the school, planning to introduce Sam to the rudimentary courtesies of dating, but when he sees his young son playing in the hallways instead of dancing with the girls, he decides to leave Sam on “Planet Boy.”

It now ranks up there for me as my second favourite story, right after the water-slide-out-the-second-storey-window story.

As I was on the Vinyl Cafe website I came across one of the best interviews I've ever heard on CBC, one that made me sit down and listen with tears running down my cheeks. It's a conversation Stuart had with Roger Woodward who, as a young boy was carried over Niagara Falls and lived to tell about it. Even though it had nothing to do with what I've heard on the CBC over the last few days, I couldn't resist linking to it.

4. Last but not least, last night I was driving to Toronto to visit a friend and to see a concert. As I was driving there was a repeat broadcast of an interview earlier that day on The Current with Angela Davis:

During the radical protest movements of the 1960's and 70's in the U.S., there was no woman more famous or notorious than Angela Davis. She was active in the civil rights movement ... a member of the radical and often violent Black Panthers.

And in 1970, she was accused of being a co-conspirator in the murder of a white judge and placed on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted List. She spent almost a-year-and-a-half in jail. But after a highly publicized trial and a global campaign to free her, an all-white jury acquitted her of murder, kidnapping and criminal conspiracy.

She talked about her experiences in the 60s and 70s, but it was an especially interesting interview becasue of two things in particular that I've been thinking about ever since:

First, she defined radicalism as an attempt to understand things at the root rather than at the surface.

Second, she talked about her activism for the abolition of prisons. She had some convincing arguments on a conceptual basis, and I was especially intrigued by the idea of prisons being a result of slavery, hence the concept of abolition being applied. I had previously known about prisons being racist, but had never though of their direct link to slavery as a result of newly freed slaves not immediately being given the full rights of free citizens, and how a red thread can be directly drawn to the current situation in American prisons and that 43% of all inmates are black. It seems like an obvious connection now that I've thought about it, so I guess I hadn't thought about it thoroughly enough. She also talked about the fact that the current system does not do enough to hold people accountable for their actions, and the importance of remembering that the majority of prisoners are non-violent. She also briefly touched upon how prisons are gendered.

All interesting and thought-provoking. The interview can be heard here.

All that to say that the CBC has blown my mind over the past few days with the ideas and stories that have been showcased. I'm thoroughly impressed that on four occasions in three days I made new discoveries about the world I live in. I think I need to write them a letter to tell them that they're doing a great job!

Supernova image from: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/gamma/cosm_supe.html

Angela Davis image from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_Davis

Darwin charicature from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Darwin

Number 7 - Being heard

The article:

It turns out the actual article isn't up, but here is a link to the event.

My letter:

To: Maclean's Magazine
Subject: How to fix democracy. Step one...
Date: Sunday, October 4, 2009

Dear Maclean's,
Step one is to allow the voices of women to be represented in debates such as the one documented in your issue this week. I heard talk of the debate on CBC radio, and turned to the article in Macleans with anticipation. Upon seeing the photos and reading the opening I was
immediately frustrated by the lack of women involved, and put the article aside. I did come back to it later because I can't deny that the gentlemen involved in the debate are all well-respected and I was curious about what insight they may provide to the current political situation in Canada. I was not disappointed in that respect, but remain deeply disheartened that there doesn't seem to be a place for Canadian women in such discussions.
Sincerely,
Lindsay
Guelph, Ontario

Their reply:

Date: Monday, October 5, 2009

Dear

Thank you for your letter. Scheduling problems prevented intended female panelists from attending, but ultimately that's no excuse.

All the best,
Maclean's

Number 6 - The good things about family

Over the past week I've had a handfull of exchanges with members of my family that have done my heart good.

To preface this it is important to explain that I grew up in rural Ontario on a family-run farm. My childhood was exceptional in that all my aunts, uncles, and cousins lived within a kilometre and my grandparents and great aunt and uncle lived behind us. I grew up in the farm house where my grandfather and great aunt were born. My Dad, uncles, grandfather, and great-uncle farmed together, and our family saw a lot of each other. As kids we'd bike back and spend a lot of time at Grandma and Grandpa's. My cousins and I would often play together. We have family gatherings in the summer, a picnic for Mother's Day, and of course meals together at Thanksgiving and Chrismas. I am one of the few to have moved away, and have often felt sad about the fact that I would miss these occasions that had been staples of my life until I left.

For the past few years I lived in a Scandinavian country. Although I visited when I could, and tried to keep in touch, there were times when I would only be able to come home once per year. Having moved back to Canada this summer, the best part has been being able to attend family get-togethers again instead of just being sent the pictures.

My life feels richer already as a result of being closer to family and re-connecting with them.

A week ago my uncle called, and just before we were about to hang-up, he said to me; "Lindsay, I just wanted you to know that I can imagine that what you've been going through is not easy, and want to let you know that I'm thinking about you and if you ever need to talk, I'm willing to listen." This olive branch was completely unexpected, I realized that I had needed that affirmation, and it felt wonderful - even though it also made me cry.

This weekend I visited my sister, and one of my cousins also came, and again I had the opportunity to re-connect and re-establish my place in my family. As with any family there are old wounds, and past hurts. Typically those are eventually forgiven and forgotten as we get older. But I've noticed that having been away some have lingered on with my sister because I haven't had enough new experiences with her to replace some of the old injuries. This weekend we banked good conversations, and aired out old hurts, and it felt wonderful to have the chance to get past those.

And finally, this afternoon I had a conversation with another of my cousins and her partner and it was mentioned that they like that I am once again part of our family's dialoge. That instead of just hearing "I got an email from Lindsay..." they hear and can say "I saw Lindsay..." or "I talked to Lindsay..." and that they like knowing I'm closer once again. I feel the same way. They have three daughters who have been growing quickly, and I had felt especially far away when I would hear about their milestones. Now I get to be part of those milestones instead of just hearing about them.

All this to say that I've been thinking about family today, and how much I value mine, and the opportunity to have them closer.

Photo: Despite the rain, the Mother's Day picnic in the bush must go on!

Number 5 - Halfway Through a Great Book

I'm a voracious reader and at any one time there are upwards of 20 books beside my bed in various states of having been read. If a book captures me I barely put it down before it's done, but most books capture me for a couple days and then I set them aside to read a bit of another, and then back to the first. You get the picture.

There is a small independent bookshop downtown that I've been visiting since I started University here 10 years ago. Back then I was always on the lookout for good queer fiction, but queer fiction is a fairly small genre, and good queer fiction is even harder to come by, so within a few years I had read everything worth reading, and except for graphic novels by Alison Bechdel have not read queer fiction in years. There has been however, one book that has been on the shelf at the bookstore, a book I've heard about, and a book I've noticed for a decade now. It's a book that I kept picking up, but not taking home. Before today I've never really considered why I had not chosen it, maybe it was because it seemed from another era, or maybe (I hate to admit) because I was embarassed to be seen buying such an obviously butch title, or maybe it's just because I wasn't ready for it.

A couple weeks ago I bought "Stone Butch Blues" and I read the whole thing last Sunday afternoon. I couldn't put it down. I both laughed out loud and cried as I read it. At one point I took a break to have some lunch, and noticed that I was halfway through. I remember actually smiling to myself at the though that I still had so much of the book left to enjoy. I spent my lunch digesting what I'd read and being intrigued by where the story might lead.

The book opened my eyes to the experiences of lesbians one and two generations ago. It gave me a new appreciation for butch women who refuse to conform with society's expectations and demands of femininity. It gave me a reference point for appreciating how much has changed over the past 40-50 years and how lucky I am. My perfect moment for today is the wonder of an eye-opening book, especially at that moment when you're halfway through and hooked.