Number 6 - The good things about family

Over the past week I've had a handfull of exchanges with members of my family that have done my heart good.

To preface this it is important to explain that I grew up in rural Ontario on a family-run farm. My childhood was exceptional in that all my aunts, uncles, and cousins lived within a kilometre and my grandparents and great aunt and uncle lived behind us. I grew up in the farm house where my grandfather and great aunt were born. My Dad, uncles, grandfather, and great-uncle farmed together, and our family saw a lot of each other. As kids we'd bike back and spend a lot of time at Grandma and Grandpa's. My cousins and I would often play together. We have family gatherings in the summer, a picnic for Mother's Day, and of course meals together at Thanksgiving and Chrismas. I am one of the few to have moved away, and have often felt sad about the fact that I would miss these occasions that had been staples of my life until I left.

For the past few years I lived in a Scandinavian country. Although I visited when I could, and tried to keep in touch, there were times when I would only be able to come home once per year. Having moved back to Canada this summer, the best part has been being able to attend family get-togethers again instead of just being sent the pictures.

My life feels richer already as a result of being closer to family and re-connecting with them.

A week ago my uncle called, and just before we were about to hang-up, he said to me; "Lindsay, I just wanted you to know that I can imagine that what you've been going through is not easy, and want to let you know that I'm thinking about you and if you ever need to talk, I'm willing to listen." This olive branch was completely unexpected, I realized that I had needed that affirmation, and it felt wonderful - even though it also made me cry.

This weekend I visited my sister, and one of my cousins also came, and again I had the opportunity to re-connect and re-establish my place in my family. As with any family there are old wounds, and past hurts. Typically those are eventually forgiven and forgotten as we get older. But I've noticed that having been away some have lingered on with my sister because I haven't had enough new experiences with her to replace some of the old injuries. This weekend we banked good conversations, and aired out old hurts, and it felt wonderful to have the chance to get past those.

And finally, this afternoon I had a conversation with another of my cousins and her partner and it was mentioned that they like that I am once again part of our family's dialoge. That instead of just hearing "I got an email from Lindsay..." they hear and can say "I saw Lindsay..." or "I talked to Lindsay..." and that they like knowing I'm closer once again. I feel the same way. They have three daughters who have been growing quickly, and I had felt especially far away when I would hear about their milestones. Now I get to be part of those milestones instead of just hearing about them.

All this to say that I've been thinking about family today, and how much I value mine, and the opportunity to have them closer.

Photo: Despite the rain, the Mother's Day picnic in the bush must go on!