Number 6 - The good things about family

Over the past week I've had a handfull of exchanges with members of my family that have done my heart good.

To preface this it is important to explain that I grew up in rural Ontario on a family-run farm. My childhood was exceptional in that all my aunts, uncles, and cousins lived within a kilometre and my grandparents and great aunt and uncle lived behind us. I grew up in the farm house where my grandfather and great aunt were born. My Dad, uncles, grandfather, and great-uncle farmed together, and our family saw a lot of each other. As kids we'd bike back and spend a lot of time at Grandma and Grandpa's. My cousins and I would often play together. We have family gatherings in the summer, a picnic for Mother's Day, and of course meals together at Thanksgiving and Chrismas. I am one of the few to have moved away, and have often felt sad about the fact that I would miss these occasions that had been staples of my life until I left.

For the past few years I lived in a Scandinavian country. Although I visited when I could, and tried to keep in touch, there were times when I would only be able to come home once per year. Having moved back to Canada this summer, the best part has been being able to attend family get-togethers again instead of just being sent the pictures.

My life feels richer already as a result of being closer to family and re-connecting with them.

A week ago my uncle called, and just before we were about to hang-up, he said to me; "Lindsay, I just wanted you to know that I can imagine that what you've been going through is not easy, and want to let you know that I'm thinking about you and if you ever need to talk, I'm willing to listen." This olive branch was completely unexpected, I realized that I had needed that affirmation, and it felt wonderful - even though it also made me cry.

This weekend I visited my sister, and one of my cousins also came, and again I had the opportunity to re-connect and re-establish my place in my family. As with any family there are old wounds, and past hurts. Typically those are eventually forgiven and forgotten as we get older. But I've noticed that having been away some have lingered on with my sister because I haven't had enough new experiences with her to replace some of the old injuries. This weekend we banked good conversations, and aired out old hurts, and it felt wonderful to have the chance to get past those.

And finally, this afternoon I had a conversation with another of my cousins and her partner and it was mentioned that they like that I am once again part of our family's dialoge. That instead of just hearing "I got an email from Lindsay..." they hear and can say "I saw Lindsay..." or "I talked to Lindsay..." and that they like knowing I'm closer once again. I feel the same way. They have three daughters who have been growing quickly, and I had felt especially far away when I would hear about their milestones. Now I get to be part of those milestones instead of just hearing about them.

All this to say that I've been thinking about family today, and how much I value mine, and the opportunity to have them closer.

Photo: Despite the rain, the Mother's Day picnic in the bush must go on!

Number 4 - The Cat

I've been looking after the cat for a few weeks while my parents are out of the country. I wouldn't call her old, but she is set in her ways and has been in our family since I was in highschool.

The cat loves being outside in the sun, and her favourite spot is under some tall flowers in the garden where she can watch the world without being seen. I said to my mum a few weeks ago that when the cat's time comes, it will be in the fall. She loves summer so much that if she is on death's doorstep in spring I'm positive that the sunlight will rejuvinate her, whereas in the fall its disapperance will just plain kill her. In the winter she paws at the back door wanting to be out, only to look out at the snow with disgust when I open the door and turn her back in a huff.

This morning it wasn't raining as it had the past few days, and with her looking longingly out the window this morning I took the chance and let her out while I ate my breakfast, hoping that she'd come back when I was on my way out the door to head to work. The cat did not come back when I called. Cats are funny that way. Most days she'll come, but once and a while her cat-nature asserts itself and she ignores me completely.

The cat and I already have a tacit understanding these days since I work all day and am not able to feed her the required four times a day as my parents do, nor do I allow her into my bedroom at night since she jumps on my dresser and knocks things off one by one until I pay her attention.

All this to say that the cat was left outside all day, from 8am until 6pm as a result of not coming when I called. I had explained that this would happen if she didn't come, but alas, she did not understand. When I walked into the kitchen after work she was sitting at her post on the back window sill looking longingly inside. She had a glazed-over look in her eye, and I wonder how many hours she'd spent sitting there waiting for me to walk in. The moment I walked in, and I caught her eye, I swear I saw a brief moment of cat-love. She rushed in when I opened the door; although toward her food and not toward me, so I guess cat-love is short-lived.

After she ate she saught me out and curled up on my lap to be pet. I often curse the cat, but do have to admit she provides good company and gives me something to talk at (I restrained myself from saying "talk to"), and we have some nice moments together when the tacit understanding turns to genuine affection.